OK so my man and I have been together for 11 months and i'd trust him with my life. But is it normal that it bothers the hell out of me that his best friend is a girl? She's absolutley beautiful which makes it that much worse, if she were ugly I would be much happier but she is not. I am not worried about him cheating, I guess it is just a "thing" I have. Normally, I am not a jealous person, but somehow this situation is different. I guess maybe since she knows him so much better and has known him for alot longer (they have been friends for 8 years) I feel intimidated. So should I talk to him about it or should I just suck it up and deal with it? I do not want to make him feel like he has to choose between her and I, that would be stupid. I have never had a chance to officially meet her but I have seen her in person a couple times, and she seems decent. If I were to talk to him, how would I bring it up? I don't mean to sound all Oprah-ish, but people I know can't give me much advice, so I figured maybe complete strangers could give something refreshing.
Kthnxbye
The only way I would worry about their relationship is if he starts putting her before you and would rather be around here. Yes they have a great bond after 8 years, so all you can do is trust him and hope that in 8 years that you have the same kind of relationship. And for the looks thing, guys aren't as much on looks as women want to think.
ReplyDeleteI had the same problem with my boyfriend of 2 years! When I first met him, his "girl-friend" and him had been friends for over 12 years! Twelve fricken years!They also dated several times! She was always calling and emailing him. I immediatly didnt give her a chance, and pushed it out there that I hated her. Not a good idea! At first he was mad about what I did, but then chose me over her.I never gave him an ultimatium, but he just stopped talking to her. About two months ago I sent her a message via facebook and talked to her about the whole situation and we made plans to hang out! I absolutly love her! She is awesome! I think me and her talk more than they do now! but back to your situation: I would just ride it out and see how everything goes, hang out with them together a couple times and see how they act around eachother and if your going to be comfortable. I wouldn't bring it up to him unless you feel like you need to. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about! Hell, you might make a new friend like I did!
ReplyDeleteYou should definitely arrange to meet her, basically, make plans for all three of you to hang out sometime, but make sure it isn't all awkward for her. Funny, I had an ex-boyfriend that got jealous of one of my female friends. He said I was with her way more than him, and he thought I was gonna turn gay for her. Bring it up, he probably knows you aren't the jealous type. But make sure it is in a casual way. "I know it's stupid, but I'm jealous of the relationship the two of you have, even though it is just a friendship." Unless he picks her over you, you shouldn't be too worried though, but if it is something that is bothering you, you need to talk to him about it. Trust me, I know from experience. Not talking about issues would be why I'm not still with my boyfriend of almost 2 years.
ReplyDeleteWell I think it is a little crazy that you have been dating this guy for 11 months and his best friend is a girl that you have never met. Usually when you are dating a guy for even a short time you end up meeting all of his close friends why should it be different with a girl that is a friend. If you trust him not to cheat on you then there is no reason to worry but if something about the relationship is making you uneasy that might be saying something. Maybe you should just bring it up that you would like to actually meet her and get to know her since they are such good friends. Do they hang out much? Maybe if you got to meet her you guys could all go out and hang out together and have fun. If she has a boyfriend maybe a double date?
ReplyDeleteWell I have to say I've have been in the same situation with the guy I'm dating now! We have been together for 9 months now and things were really rocky in the beginning. In the first 3 months I found out about a friend he had that was a girl. I was freaking out because like you I didn't want him to cheat on me. Well, you might not want to hear this but he left me for her! I was devastated. A little time went by and he came back to me wanting to try over again! So I made the decision to tell him it was either me or her. And as you can see he picked me. So it's all up to you what you want to do but from my experience, it wont turn out good.
ReplyDeleteWow I can't believe how much I relate to this. My girlfriend of 11 months has a guy as a best friend also. It is hard to not let it bother you. Especially when you feel that they are attractive to your boyfriend/girlfriend. I have talked to her about it before. The way I went about it was I asked her why her and her best friend had never dated. Which went well, because I brought up the situation, but didn't make it obvious. And the result was good: we talked all about it and I felt comforted by it a lot. So I guess what I am trying to say is, if it keeps on bothering you just bring it to your boyfriends attention, but in a non-direct way.
ReplyDeleteI think that when you are in a relation ship, you should be that persons best friend.you should also have no problem sharing time with other friends and even hang out once in awhile with your other halves friends.some people are just more comfortable sharing thing with certain people and since they have been friends so long she may be thet person for him.I wouldn't bring up the fact she's a girl I would just plan a outing or BBQ and invite some of both your friends just as a social thing then you can meet her without telling him you want to meet her.remember the biggest thing for most guys is privacy so if he says no don't push it he will respect you more for it.
ReplyDeleteI think that you should definitely ask to meet her and maybe hang out a few times. You probably don't have anything to worry about because if he's known her for that long and had feelings for her, he obviously wouldn't be with you. I think that it is completely normal for you to feel the way you do though. Maybe you should casually mention to your boyfriend that you would like to meet her or get to know her better since she is part of his life.
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